ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the obstetrician. "Nah," replied the mother-to-be. "He and my husband don't get along."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman & said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him & said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A girl came back home from the school and asked her grandmother, "Granny, what is a lover?" "A lover?" the grandmother said. "Let me think. Lov.... Lover.... Oh, my God!" She rushed to the wall, pulled aside the hanging rug, revealing a hidden closet door. She unlocked the door, and a skeleton of a young man fell out from the closet.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm " ?
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 [b] 7 user(s) are reading this topic[/b] [color=#777777][size=3] 1 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users[/size][/color] [list] ManOnFire, Google [/list]
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case? No, your honor," replied Banta, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 [b]Santa's inventions:[/b] 1. Waterproof towel 2. Solar powered torch 3. Book on how to read 4. Pedal powered wheel chair.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Banta: Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the movie GUIDE? Santa: B'coz Dev Anand says: 'O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna'
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother. Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause.
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