Wife Money management issue

[TexasBoy]

2 hours ago, islander said:

Ma wife sends $300 every month for maintenance( nijamgane they need money for survival), I send $100 (they don’t need but just for my satisfaction)..ma In-laws also planning to construct a house but Baammardi is doing decent job so vaade planning to take loan and construct. Son unte obviously In-laws property will go to him only..so monthly 50% sending is too much and waste. 

Have a discussion with ur wife to make ur baammardi accountable for that construction. House warming ki oka 1L petti TV o Sofa Set o koniyyochu gani every month 50% sending endi vaa..

Cc @riashli

[krishnaaa]

On 5/24/2023 at 12:34 PM, Mesthri said:

Married 1 year ago. Wife ki H4 EAD meda recently job vachindi.

Job ragane wife tone changed. Behaving independently.

Separate bank account teskunnam wife ki. Thana money thane handle chestha antundi.

Wife wants to give half salary to parents as they are building new home and have some loans related to their old business.

Valla big brother works in IT with good salary.

Not sure if I have to agree to her financial decisions. 

Married working couple how are you maintaining financials together?

As long as the property is put in her name, she can send as much as she can.

Indian Parents are donganakodukul. Have seen so many friends and relatives getting duped.

[MysoreJackson]

Make it simple, If she’s sending 50% of the salary then equal share of parents property must be divided between siblings… if she agrees then all set if not then monthly Maintainance(400-500$)

 

ippude  clarity lekapothe 50% poniley anukune daggara nunchi. Responsibility laaga avtundi for her 

[Pahelwan2]

14 hours ago, riashli said:

Parents ki money pampite tappenti? Forget whatever her brother earns, tanani penchinanduku parents ni chuskokudada? Secret ga pampatledu kada

Parents quota la h4 ead radandi for your kind info. Husband nana sankalu naki, employer tho thengichukuntu i140 kodte ead vastundi. 

[telugu_fan]

19 hours ago, psycopk said:

Problem enti ante 6-8 months ki em kadu akkada house structure form avudi.. interior ani decoration ani furniture ani.. house warming ani 2 yrs kummutaru..

on top of it.. they get used to free money.. during this time.. enduku ee racha anta.. anduke oka amount anukoni stop cheste better.. given his father in law is a waste guy with financials.. esp appu tho illu kadatam ani plan chetunadu kabati.. all their earnings go into drain..

bhayya,

the 6-8 months time period is for the clarity to the wife, right now if @Mesthri broaches the topic it looks like the one year marriage will run into unnecessary issues.

If the wife herself understands that she can only help to a point, the husband doesn't need to run after her every heavy amount remittance.

within that time frame a few things will come out of the wife's family side or if not he should try to have her circle increased with other people where ladies keep discussing about gold/stocks/houses/investments. Somewhere she will pick up the idea what her husband is trying to say. Very different issue when the wife picks up the idea than when she feels the spouse is forcing it on her.

If you forcefully try to put a hard stop looks like there will be issues and her husband has already indicated about the independent streak in the wife after job, so this is a suggestion to solve it without much fights. trying to be direct like going and telling her father/parents are useless with financials, ( even though that looks to be the case from husbands report) is almost always a sure shot way to torpedo the relation ship no?

[psycopk]

58 minutes ago, telugu_fan said:

bhayya,

the 6-8 months time period is for the clarity to the wife, right now if @Mesthri broaches the topic it looks like the one year marriage will run into unnecessary issues.

If the wife herself understands that she can only help to a point, the husband doesn't need to run after her every heavy amount remittance.

within that time frame a few things will come out of the wife's family side or if not he should try to have her circle increased with other people where ladies keep discussing about gold/stocks/houses/investments. Somewhere she will pick up the idea what her husband is trying to say. Very different issue when the wife picks up the idea than when she feels the spouse is forcing it on her.

If you forcefully try to put a hard stop looks like there will be issues and her husband has already indicated about the independent streak in the wife after job, so this is a suggestion to solve it without much fights. trying to be direct like going and telling her father/parents are useless with financials, ( even though that looks to be the case from husbands report) is almost always a sure shot way to torpedo the relation ship no?

Kids unte emana elugutundi.. at this point she cant drop in the middle.. guilty consciousness vastadi.. 

[JerseyBidda]

Its completely personal and situations change from family to family.

General ga aithe, meeru mee parents ki ichina aame valla parents ki ichina, money meeku malli back vastundi valla daggara nundi ante no problem ledante big NO.

It is acceptable if their parents are too old and aving troubles to meet their ends.

But giving money to build assets 😂

Make sure that you also have share in it if your wife is giving money for building . Otherwise, your BIL will enjoy that property later.

Ee vishayallo munde clarity undali, taravata godavalu vastai malli.

You guys are working hard for your kids and your happiness. Keep that in mind.

 

Its just my perspective. May be it works for you or not. But think about it.

 

 

 

[k2s]

 nice thread

[BommaliNinnodhala]

18 hours ago, krishnaaa said:

As long as the property is put in her name, she can send as much as she can.

Indian Parents are donganakodukul. Have seen so many friends and relatives getting duped.

No one is perfect man — life is short just learn and ignore

[BommaliNinnodhala]

2 minutes ago, k2s said:

 nice thread

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cs_PKmUKSnv/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[k2s]

10 minutes ago, BommaliNinnodhala said:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cs_PKmUKSnv/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

instagram.com/p/CtJkGJcrBlb/

[Konebhar6]

Do not make assumptions of her actions and come to a conclusion. That's dangerous. Before you do anything, understand her point of view or what she thinks or what she is doing. So all you need to do is have a conversation and listen to what she says. Assumptions can lead to dangerous conclusions. Once you get a clarity of her thinking, you can think of next steps. 

An example which I follow. Wife and I go for shopping to Costco or somewhere and she puts the nice $350 cooking set inspite of having 2-3 more which we are not using at home. If I say "No" right away she will be upset. I let her keep it in the cart and after 5-10 mins I ask her, hey what happened to the cooking set we bought 2-3 months back. She will think for a while and finally decide not to buy it. The different here is that if i say "No" right away, I am making decision for her. I let her take the decision by only presenting facts in a nice way. Of course she does the same when I am trying to buy electronics :).

Marriage is what you two make it out to be Be wise. 

Some good advise I saw here ---

Ask your wife if she thought of how the property that you are investing in is going to be divided later and could cause a potential family rift? What's the reason for their parents debt? Mismanagement of funds (Gambling, drinking, etc, you get the point). How will she make sure the money is going to right place? Instead of you making decisions for her, let her make but help her make it by asking right questions. 

You cannot change her decision. But explain your point of view by asking right basic questions and let her decide. 

Ask her why she wants an a/c on her name. The answer might surprise you. It could be because she never had anything on her name and may be wants that. 

[Mancode]

Guddha bal comedy  anduke pellilu lantivi cheskokudadhu....understand .???

[krishnaaa]

1 hour ago, BommaliNinnodhala said:

No one is perfect man — life is short just learn and ignore

Your point?

[BommaliNinnodhala]

22 hours ago, krishnaaa said:

Your point?

Don't Stress