Wife Money management issue

[kiran1012]

4 hours ago, Mesthri said:

Inka paisal pampudu start cheyale. Emergency 6months funds ani saving for now.

Sare pampu ani cheppaka in-laws vaddu ante problem solve avtundi. But teskunte naku pelipotundi. 

monthly karchulaki okay but 50% sal ante bit too much I say

Kotha illu teesuko, mortgage ke pedda amt potadi. Challabadtavu inkka

[gudboy]

9 minutes ago, Mesthri said:

Before marriage discuss cheste 50% akkade drop aipotaru.

anduke kada ippudu nuvvu ikkada discuss chesthunnav lol

[Pravara1]

4 hours ago, riashli said:

That's fine..i can very well manage family, biryani pettalekapoyina pappu pettagalanu

ni self dabba kosam ee thread ni vadeskuntuntunnava akkai… 

[TexasBoy]

50 minutes ago, DalchanChekka said:

Husband parents devulapally devullu wife parents adukkuthine vallu 😂

Repu meeku only daughters putti motham manchaana paddaka ardham aithadhi

We didn't oppose giving money just 50% is too much! Adukkuthine people don't need 1-2 lakhs every month in India .
 

As long as their stay, food, medicines and other important expenses are covered , they should be ok. Sending 50% salary right away to parents is something fishy . fyi my parents live in Hyd and they don't spend more than 20k per month for basic things and they are happy . I bought an apartment and they live in it forever . 

[Mesthri]

4 minutes ago, gudboy said:

anduke kada ippudu nuvvu ikkada discuss chesthunnav lol

mari aa discussion munde chesi unte nenaithe pelli seskunevadni kadu cause thats not what my family follows.

[Mesthri]

1 hour ago, AllamTea23 said:

Give ur wife emotional stuff...U start buying Car/home in USA that way Ur wife money will be with you and YOUR family can be built...DO NOT allow ur wife t give money to Parents---U can never RECOVER them ..its total loss i am telling U from personal experience...Be smart and play emotional card with Ur wife

illu, second car konali and kids plan cheyali tvaraga.

Kids ante ma parents illu and loan terchaka plan cheddam antademo 

[Mesthri]

1 hour ago, DalchanChekka said:

Husband parents devulapally devullu wife parents adukkuthine vallu 😂

Repu meeku only daughters putti motham manchaana paddaka ardham aithadhi

Ne kids neku sevalu chestaru ani expect chestunnava US la? ika ainatte

[Mesthri]

51 minutes ago, DalchanChekka said:

I don’t support TS wife behavior at all. Idhe behavior husbands kuda chestharu. Sisters ki illulu kattinchadam, apartments konivvadam laantivi. Alanti behavior ni meeru support chesthara?

ee kalam lo evaru chestaru ila. very rare

[Mesthri]

21 minutes ago, Arjun9 said:

Lol.. Welcome to the Party Bro😄

Try taking some property  like house, apts with heavy loans.. so EMI and other payments ki you can ask her to contribute some..ayina vinakapothe.. EAD nee hand lo pane ga... dont apply or make sure here EAD gets rejected somehow

In my case, my wife dont even know her bank details.. edho shopping adhi idhi dhaaniki she use one credit card which i pay off

😆

lucky fellow vi bro.

[Telugodura456]

After thinking through i think @riashli has a point. If wife can do what she wants with her money and husband can do what they want with their money - then whats the problem ?

I personally dont mind if wife is spending it on herself but giving to parents for building a house kinda sucks.

[gudboy]

1 hour ago, Telugodura456 said:

After thinking through i think @riashli has a point. If wife can do what she wants with her money and husband can do what they want with their money - then whats the problem ?

I personally dont mind if wife is spending it on herself but giving to parents for building a house kinda sucks.

evaridi vallu spend chesaka what is the point dude..why stay married?

you need to spend together for your future..as children we need to provide comfortable life to parents not lavish life be it wife parents or husband parents

[telugu_fan]

6 hours ago, Mesthri said:

in-laws ki thindiki, health issues ki paisal lev ante I have no objection to send bro. Valla business loan and new building ki ante nenu valla investments lo contribute chestunnatu. If I dont get returns in those investments why should I contribute annadi nenu alochinchedi.

next convo lo ikkada discuss chesina points anni gattiga cheppi choosta

Mesthri bro,

The points of @veerigadu and @psycopk are some of the better points. but i will repeat what Veerigadu and android_halwa said in one of the posts.

 She has just started earning and she wants to probably do something for her parents (she probably doesn't know what exactly and so she has decided house for her parents and repaying loans). You just wait for 6-8 months, that will bring some sort of clarity to her, because in most family issues things will crop up.

1. she could have a realization on her own or speaking with other females in her circle. (they won't listen to husbands but will listen to the same thing repeated by a girl in their friends circle).

2. Her brother and parents relations also will make her realize, (once somebody starts that your sister is sending money and helping us or if the brother comes for a part of the property for which she is paying now, or the parents in the future not holding her payments in high regards).

3. Don't ever talk about return on investments right now on the money she is sending. Its been only one year since your marriage, and she will most definitely take it as a slight or you not respecting her parents or fulfilling her wishes and could say that you see her parents/family separately.

4. Mention about return on investments after about 6-8 months and in these 6 months, keep her happy, shopping travel and also have her meet some of your friends and see if can make newer friends with ladies in that circle. they will discuss about kids, jewellery and houses etc etc and she will start to have an idea on her own. (kind of like inception).

 

basically the 6-8 months time is to make her realize on her own so that you will not have issues later.

[telugu_fan]

2 hours ago, Mesthri said:

illu, second car konali and kids plan cheyali tvaraga.

Kids ante ma parents illu and loan terchaka plan cheddam antademo 

Plan and do what you think is best, but don't do things that thinking she will stop. She will only stop if she feels like it or else she will ask you to earn more.

Kids will come when the time is right, don't plan for kids using these money issues and other thoughts, not fair to kids and also to both the parents responsible for them.

You said its only been one year since your marriage, try to have more attachment/intimacy with each other, if you have to let go 50% for a few months i will say that it is well worth it. Kids can come when both of you are ready rather than trying to get her to stop sending money.

Your wife will end up having resentment if and when these thoughts come out (sometimes they do come out during an argument). So watch for that.

[telugu_fan]

6 hours ago, Mesthri said:

ee pelliki mundu, MS ammai match vachindi.

Ammai thana student loan and sister marriage karchulu nene chooskunta and future lo India move avvali in 10yrs ani cheppindi. Enduko aa match set kaledu parents ki nachaka.

MS ammaini cheskunna poyedi. 

 

what is done is done, don't cry over spilled milk or other coulda shoulda scenarios.

who knows maybe that girl would have sent 80% of her salary also no. That is why they say "anta mana manchi ke"

You made your decision and now you will need to make it work with your wife, if you like her in general apart from this money sending issue then things can always get better, don't think of what could have happened. you can't change your past decision and you will be only fretting and wasting time.

[Fish]

On 5/24/2023 at 9:34 AM, Mesthri said:

Married 1 year ago. Wife ki H4 EAD meda recently job vachindi.

Job ragane wife tone changed. Behaving independently.

Separate bank account teskunnam wife ki. Thana money thane handle chestha antundi.

Wife wants to give half salary to parents as they are building new home and have some loans related to their old business.

Valla big brother works in IT with good salary.

Not sure if I have to agree to her financial decisions. 

Married working couple how are you maintaining financials together?

Since she is funding the house, are their parents giving her the house after their demise?