ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Q: How do you recognize a Santa's son in School? A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Banta was visiting Santa, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. Santa responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Banta: Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? "HELLOOOOOO," answered Santa. "They're watch dogs!"
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 A teacher asked Pappu: What's the capital of United States? Pappu: Washington DC. When asked what "DC" stood for, Pappu added, "Dot com!"
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you? Banta: Me too, after you leave.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 [b]Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence![/b]
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 [b]Heght of optimism:[/b] Soldier: Sir, we are surrounded! Major: Excellent! We can attack in any direction now!
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Said to a railroad engineer: What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. Rilroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Mom: Where r u off to now? Son: I`m gonna join the army. Mom: But, legally u r only an infant. Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "That guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." Her husband said,[color="Red"][b] "That's silly, no one celebrates that much!"[/b][/color]
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Santa in an antique shop, “Do you have anything new?”
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 Two taxicab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "I'm glad to see you." he said. "I've been lost for three days." "Don't get too excited friend." the other hunter replied. "I've been lost for three weeks."
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