Cousin gaadi dilemma - DB experts advise

[dewarist]

If someone thinks Autism is a low probability for Indian kids, Autism/ADHD cases in Indian kids are on on the rise at least in the US.

 

[Pahelwan2]

Babai gani g muskuni kuso manu vaa siggu unda asalu. America la untu Edo thanda la untunattu aa beliefs endi. 

[kittaya]

4 minutes ago, tennisluvrredux said:

3 times higher ante ekkuve ga Mari, that's what I found out as well. 

100% ayithe kaadu kada... 95% lesser probabilities... 

 

[kittaya]

2 minutes ago, dewarist said:

If someone thinks Autism is a low probability for Indian kids, Autism/ADHD cases in Indian kids are on on the rise at least in the US.

 

Agreed.... That's why get the kids when you are happy n ready to get it...  Be healthy.. 

[dewarist]

Just now, kittaya said:

Agreed.... That's why get the kids when you are happy n ready to get it...  Be healthy.. 

Only have kids when you are ready to take up the responsibility at all costs and odds. Understand what you are signing up for, especially with possibility of having an autistic kid. Don't get someone into the world unless you really understand the consequences.

Feeling remorse after you have them is going to spoil everyone's happiness. My 2c

[Kakynada]

Take regular doctor and obygn opinions - not 1 opinion - Take multiple regular/and obygn feedback, explain them the whole concept. 

[kittaya]

7 minutes ago, dewarist said:

Only have kids when you are ready to take up the responsibility at all costs and odds. Understand what you are signing up for, especially with possibility of having an autistic kid. Don't get someone into the world unless you really understand the consequences.

Feeling remorse after you have them is going to spoil everyone's happiness. My 2c

Yes doctor's have capability to say whether kid will be healthy or not by 5th month... There are regular checkups... So cool don't worry

[Raja_Returns]

E babai la gola ikada kuda unda

jagan mamaiah entha clear ga chepina e babai lu marara.

[yemdoing]

1 hour ago, tennisluvrredux said:

Maa Babai koduku, second cousin India lo medicine chadivadu, puttindi India lo but grew up in US in middle school and high school, after bachelor's medical school ki India velladu, came back did his residency here and now started practicing since 3 years. As you know he was already into his 30s by the time all this is done, he met a fellow indian doctor during residency and intlo decide ayipoyaru set le ika Ani and they got married shortly after their residency.

Pelliki mundu teliyadu kaani he got to know over the years that she has bipolar tendencies, adi sure ga telavaka poina she takes anti depressants for her depression which is diagnosed clinically. Now this is having some effect negatively on his relationship. But he has a bigger concern. 

 

To be contd...

My cousins husband killed himself , he was a doctor himself and was on anti depressants. 
 

 

[dewarist]

Just now, yemdoing said:

My cousins husband killed himself , he was a doctor himself and was on anti depressants. 
 

 

[NYCpal]

Ask him kids Antha important or not ,is he ready to break his relation for biological kids or he wants to stay with her no matter what.If answer is yes ,they can try adoption or surrogacy  .If answer is no what is probability of having a Austin kid in his second marriage 

[pakeer_saab]

47 minutes ago, tennisluvrredux said:

Cousin wife ki oka tammudunnadu, vaadu konchem shy type peddaga kalavadu annaru pelliki mundu, sare that's fine ani he didn't care much. But then he got to know after marriage that he was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism spectrum disorder growing up as a child, and he didn't know this prior to marriage.

Now maa odi dilemma entante time is running out for kids, his wife is the same age as him(mid 30s) and if they have a child together which they are trying to, he is worried about the kid being autistic due to the uncle having autism from the mom's side. 

Maa Babai inko Pelli chesuko mani antunnadu cousin doesn't want to but he wants to have kids so he's conflicted, what's the risk of a child having autism due to the mom's bipolar/depression issues and the uncle being autistic.

Emanna info unte share.

Wife and BIL having mental health issues is a strong sign towards indicating his future kids may also have issues, but there are very few chances of something good happening, its a risk for sure which is not worth exploring for emotionally sensitive folks.

if one does not believe in karma (long term implications of one's actions): divorce and go for new marriage without kids. act as if nothing happened. survival of the fittest anukoni continue avvadame

if one believes in karma: leaving wife for this reason leaves a strong sense of guilt/bad karma for entire life and that too for an event that has not happened ever (no kids and hence no autism, kid with autism has not happened and there could be equal chance that kid might have done good)

if i have to recommend a choice, adoption would be the best choice. but people are never comfortable finding middle ground

no one can decide his choices except him

[yemdoing]

50 minutes ago, Vaampire said:

Mee cousin ey medicine chadivadu. Athanikantey ee db members ki ekkuva telusthada?

Yeah , I know more than them . 

[JaiBalayyaaa]

1 hour ago, tennisluvrredux said:

Cousin doesn't want to but Babai thinks his kid will turn out to be autistic so cousin is conflicted. Autism ki treatment ante doubt it, I heard kids will be dependent on parents their entire life. 

He is over 30 years old, inka me babai matalu vinudenti chass

[JaiBalayyaaa]

What is the caste & gotram of your cousin and his wife. I know a family, married same caste and gotram, kid is autistic.