ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 We live in a nation , where Pizza reaches home faster than Ambulance/police, Where you get car loan @ 5% and education loan @ 12%, Where rice is Rs 40/- per kg but SIM card is free, Where a millionaire can buy a cricket team instead of donating the money to any charity, Where the footwear, we wear ,are sold in AC showrooms, but vegetables, that we eat, are sold on the footpath, Where everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to follow the path to be famous, Where we make lemon juices with artificial flavors and dish wash liquids with real lemon. Where people are standing at tea stalls reading an article about child labour from a newspaper and say,"yaar bachhonse kaam karvane wale ko to phansi par chadha dena chahiye" and then they shout "Oye chhotu 2 chaii laao....."
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Biology teacher: explain what is digestive system? Student: it is a system that starts with right hand and ends with left hand.
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Yamraj asks 3 ladies - Kabhii kiss kiya? 1st lady : Shadi se pehle. Yamraj : Chal Nark me. 2nd Lady : Shaadi ke baad. Yamraj : Chal Swarg me. 3rd Lady : Na pehle na baad me. Yamraj : Chal kamre me!!!
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Man: what is million years to u? God: only a second. Man: what is billion of Dollars to u? God: only a Coin. Man: ok give me a Coin. God: wait a second…. Man: [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/swoon.gif[/img]
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. , that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy(-2) Named Rita (-4) Rita is a dancer (-6) Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 HER BIRTHDAY You forget her birthday (-50000) You take her out to dinner (0) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Beer (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10)
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie (+2) You take her to a movie she likes (+4) You take her to a movie you hate (+6) You take her to a movie you like (-2)
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT] You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other response (-20)
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000) Now what chance do you have???
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question." Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln." Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first. Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before. Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave." Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions. When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bit*hes would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 For the festive season remember: Alcohol does not make you FAT! It makes you LEAN.... --- against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 “I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution: 1280×1024 ”
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