ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right down to the youngest baby. "When we had just four children, I dressed them alike so we wouldn't lose any of them." "Now," she added, looking around at her brood of nine, "I dress them alike so we won't pick up any that don't belong to us."
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 • Q: What's the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
ManOnFire Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Posted August 13, 2012 [b] 75 user(s) are reading this topic[/b] [color=#777777][size=3] 2 members, 62 guests, 0 anonymous users[/size][/color] [list] ManOnFire, Facebook, Google, god father [/list]
ManOnFire Posted August 20, 2012 Author Report Posted August 20, 2012 Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office? A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
ManOnFire Posted August 20, 2012 Author Report Posted August 20, 2012 Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
ManOnFire Posted August 30, 2012 Author Report Posted August 30, 2012 A Writer decided to write a book about famous churches around the World. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he Noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read " $10,000 per call". The Writer, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The Writer thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw inChina and He asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 He Could talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the Writer. He then traveled to Pakistan , Srilanka , Russia , Germany and France. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 Per call" sign under it. The Writer, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone. He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there Was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read " One Rupee per call." The Writer was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, But in the US the price was $10,000 per call. why is it so cheap here?" The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, Son - it's a Local Call ". This is the only heaven on the Earth
ManOnFire Posted August 30, 2012 Author Report Posted August 30, 2012 The old family physician being away on vacation, entrusted his practice to his son - a recent medical student. When the old man returned, the youngster told him among other things, that he cured Miss Ferguson, an aged and wealthy spinster, of her chronic indigestion. "My boy," said the old doctor, "I'm proud of you, but Miss Ferguson's indigestion is what put you through college."
ManOnFire Posted August 30, 2012 Author Report Posted August 30, 2012 A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull. "It's the only one I got for $599, take it or leave it." She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, "I'd like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer." The man behind the counter tells her, "Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are $. 75 per word." She thinks about it for a moment and decides. "I'd like to send one word, please." "And what word would that be?" inquires the man. "Comfortable," replies the brunette. The man asks, "I'm miss, but is your friend gonna understand this telegram?" The brunette replies, "My friend is blonde and reads REAL slow, when she gets this, she will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL."[img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/roflol.gif[/img]
ManOnFire Posted August 30, 2012 Author Report Posted August 30, 2012 Three men are on a plane. They open a window and one throws an orange out. The other throws out an apple. The Third throws out a hand grenade. After getting off of the plane, they see a boy crying. They ask what's wrong, and he replies, "An apple hit me in the head!" They see another boy crying. He says, "An orange hit me in the head!" Then they see a boy rolling on the sidewalk laughing. They asked why he was laughing, and he replied, "I farted and my house blew up!"
ManOnFire Posted August 30, 2012 Author Report Posted August 30, 2012 Difference A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?" Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? " Trainee: "Yes I do" Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation" Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation
ManOnFire Posted August 30, 2012 Author Report Posted August 30, 2012 ********** In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures. In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
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