ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 In examination hall maths exam is conducting But sardar is dancing without writting Bcoz some one said that there are marks for [u]STEPS[/u]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 DO MEN REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES? A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?' The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies. The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?' 'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?' 'I remember that too' she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... 'I would have been released today.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 [b][b]A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner. "Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?" "Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian. The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?" The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?" "It was ME," chortled the Indian. So the Norwegian paid for the drinks. Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies. "Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?" "Fair enough," said Sven. "Ok," the Norwegian said, "my father and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?" "Search me," said Sven. "I give up, who vas it?" The Norwegian burst out, "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, North Dakota!"[/b][/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket." The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married." The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles. "Great," he replies, "Get your own blanket!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Shipwrecked A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!" "What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love." "," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were." Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top. The husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 [b][color="Blue"]One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, ''Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!'' ''I know!'' the next woman says, ''Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house but when I called he wasn't there.'' The third woman says, ''I always know where my husband is.'' ''Impossible!'' both women say, ''He has you completely fooled!'' ''Oh no,'' says the woman. ''I'm a widow.''[/color][/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 I havent gone thru all 400 pages but want to share a joke!! A couple has 3 daughters, all grown up and got married, one day mother in law wanted to test her in laws how much they like her and not her wealth. one day she takes her eldest son in law for a walk and walk on a bank of river and after a while she wantedly slips in water ans acts dorwning, the in law jumps into the water and helps her, next day he will see a new mitsubishi car witha a not " from your mother in law - thanks for saving my life" he feels next day she vistis her second daughter place and do the same thing and he also with any hesistation jumps in the water and save her life he too get the same gift with the same note for saving her life third day she goes to her another daughter house and takes her in law for a walk and acts the same this guys doenot want to save her and thinks lets this B[img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/boothu.gif[/img] die and she drowns and dies. next day after her funeral he sees a brand new Porsche car with a note saying " from your father in law thanks for not saving her " (LOL) [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/evil_laugh.gif[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 [b][color="Red"]The Vow of Celebracy[/color][/b] [color="Blue"]The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where he's met by a reception committee of angels. After a whirlwind tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original handwritten script. The angel librarian hears a loud scream, and goes running toward its source only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, shaking and crying. "The R! They left out the R!" "What do you mean?" the angel librarian asks. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 [color="Red"][size="5"]Talking Italian[/size][/color] [color="Blue"][size="3"]A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: ''Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.'' ''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our S*e*x lives in public.'' ''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 [b][color="Red"]Dragging Their Feet[/color][/b] [color="Blue"]Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Sim Breakfast [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/Big%20Grin.gif[/img] HUTCH is now VODA fone! Likewise BSNL vil b DOSA fone! AIRTEL vil b UPMA fone! TATA vil b PURI fone! IDEA vil b IDLI fone! But, yours is always DABBA fone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 On a special Teacher's Day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving Teacher's Day gifts. A Florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it and held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is....some flowers." "That's right!" said the boy. "But how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy storeowner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy." "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it over her head but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "It's a puppy!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Every community has its quirks. Many characteristics define a particular group of people and we sometimes find that we can sit back and laugh at these little things. With malice towards none .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 SARDARJIS One Sardarji is a truck-driver. Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba. Three Sardarjis is a terrorist outfit. Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 MALAYALEES One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop. Two Malayalees is a boat race.(chettan1 & chettan2) Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket. Four Malayalees is an oil slick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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