Growing Up In India

[dkc]

How old were u then?
Restaurant vadu anta fast ga job ichesada?
Server ga experience ela vundindi? Avamanam ga anipinchinda?

 

I was 16.

 

I simply hated my parents, wanted to get away from them. no other strong reason.

 

yeah, the restaurant guy asked me if I ran away from home. and if he has to worry about any police case.

 

I think he just blindly trusted me. I have such a face :)

 

Avamanam emi anipinchaledu man. I was born fairly wealthy, so koncham physically kastam anipinchindi. I understood I can't survive like that.

[Krish]

I was 16.

 

I simply hated my parents, wanted to get away from them. no other strong reason.

 

yeah, the restaurant guy asked me if I ran away from home. and if he has to worry about any police case.

 

I think he just blindly trusted me. I have such a face :)

 

Avamanam emi anipinchaledu man. I was born rich, so koncham physically kastam anipinchindi. I understood I can't survive like that.

 

is u r family dysfunctional??...no offence...just curious....:)

[dkc]

is u r family dysfunctional??...no offence...just curious.... :)

 

no man. I'm very uncomfortable with authority figures.

 

my parents are possibly among the sanest people I know.

[Krish]

Fantastic post..I loved it...But as a person bought up in India, I would like share a few things myself..

Born into a traditional agricultural farmers family, I was told that study is the most important thing in the world..For us study is money and food..

I was told that bcoz my parents wanted me  not to do farming. I agree, they were selfish, but my life is much much better off now than a normal farmer.

I was put up in a very good school where I did decent and managed to get decent education and morals.

Coming to family at home, I was always told to be conservative,very very respectful to elders. I always hated that. I was kind of a rebel,specially during teens to early 20's. But in the back of my head, I do not know why , I always listened to my parents and grandparents. 

They told me to play sports, not to pick fights and and compromise on things when it comes to a head on situation. 

The times when I listened to them, my life became easier. I managed to learn to forgive and share. Thanks to them , I have 1000 friends today(not on facebook). Everytime i did not listen to them, I got into trouble. So worse, I had to end up in street fights and head to police stations.

Then I realized in my early 20's that parents teach this out of their own experience. Listening to them is upto ourselves.

Conservative/ tradition. Yes, it is a very interchangeable thing in India. I was told to be both at all times. But I was never, even today. I am not by any means conservative.

But tradition - This was imbibed in my head automatically by mom and dad. So today,if I see a woman i always add a prefix or suffix with her. Be it old or young. I do the same with elders. 

Teens should rebel on parents,i do agree with that.. but in matters pertaining to career. Not about alcohol and girls.

I rebelled initially against my parents for not accepting my girlfriend. I got married to a woman of their choice.

Now looking back, that was a great decision for me to follow their word. My partner is a wonderful wife, a darling daughter in law, a lovable daughter and am pretty sure she is gonna turn out to be a great mother in future.. She is a replica of me from another family,well, without the rebellious side in her teens. Her family adores me and treats me like a son,my mom is in love with this lady and treats her more than a daughter. 

My girlfriend now is headed for a division in her spouses family.Their whole family fell apart.

Today,my future is settled,with or without my job.My dad is proud of me..Not because I am a great son but because I am a responsible individual.

That is what parents look forward to in kids.. Not $, not fame. It is us who is mistaken in our thinking and blame them.

 

My mom and dad, my inlaws, my aunts and uncles fight.. Fight so bad sometimes , one will kill the other.. But at the end of the day,they respect each other..They cuddle and sleep. Not a single divorce in my family,extended family in the last 75yrs.

 

the US, how better is this country than India?

Virginia Tech massacre

Boston bombing

Child molestation,Serial murders, Jeffry Dahmer

rampant drug abuse

divorce rate of 50%

A nation that sucks blood out of the middle class,claiming it is the greatest country in the world..

God bless America.

 

Yes,I would love to date a foreigner bcoz she is fair. I would take a photo with a fair skin guy. But if her ever says a word bad about my country, I am gonna rip him apart and feed him to the dogs.. 

 

If you think USA is very patriotic, why is Chrysler bankrupt, why is Chevy bankrup?. Why is Toyota the best selling car in the USA/world?

 

Granted there is bad corruption and poverty in India. You can be a better parent and teach your kids to be more responsible and fight them.

 

Idiots are everywhere, it depends on how you can mould them in your guidance..

 

I am not trying to pick on u, I am just expressing what I felt..No offense.

 

 

very well summarised all nice things...yes India's greatest strength lies within the family system...the bonding is so strong that no wonder they emotionally blackmail their kids!!

 

Your gf episode bit tragic....good that u have no regrets....now u feel secured because ur family extended it's support to you cos u listened to their word and married the girl of their choice..

 

this one aspect needs to be changed with parents.!!

[Krish]

no man. I'm very uncomfortable with authority figures.

 

my parents are possibly among the sanest people I know.

 

Then what's the matter with u??..

 

my parents struggled a lot and sacrificed so much...I feel it's my basic responsibility to look after them....ilanti thoughts gurinchi nee feeling endi??

[dkc]

Then what's the matter with u??..

 

my parents struggled a lot and sacrificed so much...I feel it's my basic responsibility to look after them....ilanti thoughts gurinchi nee feeling endi??

 

hehe.. ippudu naa answer ki andaru nannu ochi thidtaaru. :)

 

 

[coca-cola]

already cheppa oka saari..

 

cycle eskoni vellipoya. bike unna, petrol dabbulu ki kooda nanna ni adagatam istam leka.

 

oka 150kms thokka. then edho oka chinna highway side hotel lo 2 days pani chesa. server la.

 

annam gonthu loki digatla. body antha pains. floor meedha eppudu padukole.

 

2 days tharavatha, bye cheppi ochesa. cycle pakkana oka street lo vadilesi.

 

edho apaddaalu cheppi, train lo ocha back. intiki auto eskoni poi, morning 6.30 ki amma ni dabbulu adiga auto kosam :)

nenu paaripoyanuu 2008 lo 4yrs paiki kindaki chesaa edhoo peekudhamani em peekalemani malli venakki vachesaaa em chestham  assallu return raakudadhu anukunaa kaani vidhi mundhu thalavanchaka thappadhu ani telusukoni anni musukoni intlo ne kurchunaaa ................kakapothe nenu flight lo paripoyina anthe !!

[coca-cola]

Then what's the matter with u??..

 

my parents struggled a lot and sacrificed so much...I feel it's my basic responsibility to look after them....ilanti thoughts gurinchi nee feeling endi??

bhaayaa maa parents kudaa still struglling nd sacrifising but naaku enti nee lanti feelings assaluu raavu ndukooo !

[dkc]

Then what's the matter with u??..

 

my parents struggled a lot and sacrificed so much...I feel it's my basic responsibility to look after them....ilanti thoughts gurinchi nee feeling endi??

 

no matter man. I felt my parents weren't adequate. I wish my father was a scientist, doing all cool stuff I could help him with. He was only a businessman. I was disappointed.

 

I can't have conversations with my parents. They won't understand what I am trying to say, even when I was 16.

 

I was also angry at not being allowed to go to school with my friends in a bus.

 

basic anger, why give me birth if you want me to live by your stupid rules.

 

In fact, they should go out of their way to help me achieve what I want to without restricting me. This is the kind of attitude I had at that time.

 

The hatred was too much for my father to handle. my mother didn't feel it much.

 

finally, he had to let me go abroad for undergrad.

 

anyway, I think most/many parents don't think enough about the huge decision of having a kid. Some of them are not equipped to handle kids, if they turn out like I did.

 

Now my sis is very wary of my nephew spending time with me. lol.

[moviefan]

Growing up in India is a special kind of frustration because you grow up and realize that you’re one of the few who did. You know that you have fewer people that you can relate to or choose as partners. You know that you live in hypocrisy and harassment. Growing up in India is difficult because India never grew up.

I used to love India, God knows I still do. But it is a country that gets more ridiculous by the day, comprising of people that choose to be blind because reality is so hard to face. Set aside real issues like poverty and education, society in India is a constant source of shock. A mindset that uses traditional and conservative interchangeably, but actually exploits its heritage for lord only knows what petty gains. As for our glorified freedom struggle that every child in this country is so proud of, please walk to a tourist destination accompanied by any white person and if you don’t have atleast one person who asks to be photographed with them out of fascination for skin colour, I’ll let you keep your history books and vehement patriotism. However, that’s a story for another day but it’s something that did happen and was obviously more startling for me than the foreigner who shrugged and said “this happens sometimes, yeah”.

India is a country that loves its family system, is obsessed with familial relationships to the extent that they don’t want to let you spend the rest of their life with a person that they wouldn’t want in their drawing room. Relationships are discouraged, mostly violently. Not speaking of the “forward thinking 1% metropolitan” here, that have devised their own rule book to accept the choices we make. It is accepted that if the older people in the family are not happy with the match then it must be wrong. Who gives a damn about three generation gaps and all that? Being a good companion isn’t something that’s taught here. All you’re taught is how to be eligible for marriage. Like that’s the finish line. What do you do once you are married? Pretty much every Indian is clueless. Nobody is taught about healthy relationships, respect, compatibility or even romance. I don’t know if anybody’s noticed but every notion of love the people here demonstrate is a direct lift from Bollywood. That’s not the best idea obviously but that’s not something we can help. Like the slightly underrated scene in The Namesake where a married couple wouldn’t even hold hands, let alone put an arm around each other in front of children, where it’s a shame for men to be loving to their wives, I’m not surprised we are a country that has high rates of violence against women. Men and women are told to get married, they’re never taught to love and learn from each other.

Husbands don’t treat their wives well and the wives in turn are unhealthily attached to their sons, in turn hating their daughter in laws leading to 300,000 serials per year about this strangely popular dynamic. I mean I don’t even know where this begins and ends. It’s not even something you can speak about, it’s a psychological illness our country is going through.

“Get married, get married, it’s time now.” But what after? Any tips on how to be a good wife or a loving husband? Doubtful. Any suggestions on how to keep your mother-in-law in check? A mental catalogue with demonstrations, I’m sure. Bottomline: We’re terrible husbands and wives. Can you blame us? Falling in love is a crime. Something that hampers the practical utility of marriage. Ruins the transaction.

All Indians bar none, have no respect for themselves or their culture, but only their textbook taught principles. That’s why we’re such good engineers. We can parrot complete ###### in the name of knowledge. There’s no respect for processes, queues, merit, animals, no value of life. All we have is the ability to recite what we were told at great speed and with blind faith. Good on you, the next aspiring super power. Good on you. Fix your homes before you go macro.

 

nice article man... from where did you get this article ?

[siru]

Fantastic post..I loved it...But as a person bought up in India, I would like share a few things myself..
Born into a traditional agricultural farmers family, I was told that study is the most important thing in the world..For us study is money and food..
I was told that bcoz my parents wanted me not to do farming. I agree, they were selfish, but my life is much much better off now than a normal farmer.
I was put up in a very good school where I did decent and managed to get decent education and morals.
Coming to family at home, I was always told to be conservative,very very respectful to elders. I always hated that. I was kind of a rebel,specially during teens to early 20's. But in the back of my head, I do not know why , I always listened to my parents and grandparents.
They told me to play sports, not to pick fights and and compromise on things when it comes to a head on situation.
The times when I listened to them, my life became easier. I managed to learn to forgive and share. Thanks to them , I have 1000 friends today(not on facebook). Everytime i did not listen to them, I got into trouble. So worse, I had to end up in street fights and head to police stations.
Then I realized in my early 20's that parents teach this out of their own experience. Listening to them is upto ourselves.
Conservative/ tradition. Yes, it is a very interchangeable thing in India. I was told to be both at all times. But I was never, even today. I am not by any means conservative.
But tradition - This was imbibed in my head automatically by mom and dad. So today,if I see a woman i always add a prefix or suffix with her. Be it old or young. I do the same with elders.
Teens should rebel on parents,i do agree with that.. but in matters pertaining to career. Not about alcohol and girls.
I rebelled initially against my parents for not accepting my girlfriend. I got married to a woman of their choice.
Now looking back, that was a great decision for me to follow their word. My partner is a wonderful wife, a darling daughter in law, a lovable daughter and am pretty sure she is gonna turn out to be a great mother in future.. She is a replica of me from another family,well, without the rebellious side in her teens. Her family adores me and treats me like a son,my mom is in love with this lady and treats her more than a daughter.
My girlfriend now is headed for a division in her spouses family.Their whole family fell apart.
Today,my future is settled,with or without my job.My dad is proud of me..Not because I am a great son but because I am a responsible individual.
That is what parents look forward to in kids.. Not $, not fame. It is us who is mistaken in our thinking and blame them.

My mom and dad, my inlaws, my aunts and uncles fight.. Fight so bad sometimes , one will kill the other.. But at the end of the day,they respect each other..They cuddle and sleep. Not a single divorce in my family,extended family in the last 75yrs.

the US, how better is this country than India?
Virginia Tech massacre
Boston bombing
Child molestation,Serial murders, Jeffry Dahmer
rampant drug abuse
divorce rate of 50%
A nation that sucks blood out of the middle class,claiming it is the greatest country in the world..
God bless America.

Yes,I would love to date a foreigner bcoz she is fair. I would take a photo with a fair skin guy. But if her ever says a word bad about my country, I am gonna rip him apart and feed him to the dogs..

If you think USA is very patriotic, why is Chrysler bankrupt, why is Chevy bankrup?. Why is Toyota the best selling car in the USA/world?

Granted there is bad corruption and poverty in India. You can be a better parent and teach your kids to be more responsible and fight them.

Idiots are everywhere, it depends on how you can mould them in your guidance..

I am not trying to pick on u, I am just expressing what I felt..No offense.

I can see that the road you did not take proved to be a good decision for you. Hence you are completely in agreement with the so called Indian hierarchy.
My family back ground is similar to yours and Even i was told to study and get a JOB. None of our parent told us to do what we really like, innovate or be an enterprnuer.
Since you are comparing US and India, did you overlook the fact that most of the Tech giants in the world are started by a group of dropout students with literally no money? That my friend is called American Dream. Here anything is possible provided you work hard to achieve your goals

[dkc]

parents should feel indebted to their kids. Not the other way around.

[siru]

no matter man. I felt my parents weren't adequate. I wish my father was a scientist, doing all cool stuff I could help him with. He was only a businessman. I was disappointed.

I can't have conversations with my parents. They won't understand what I am trying to say, even when I was 16.

I was also angry at not being allowed to go to school with my friends in a bus.

basic anger, why give me birth if you want me to live by your stupid rules.

In fact, they should go out of their way to help me achieve what I want to without restricting me. This is the kind of attitude I had at that time.

The hatred was too much for my father to handle. my mother didn't feel it much.

finally, he had to let me go abroad for undergrad.

anyway, I think most/many parents don't think enough about the huge decision of having a kid. Some of them are not equipped to handle kids, if they turn out like I did.

Now my sis is very wary of my nephew spending time with me. lol.

Based on your past hate posts on Rich people, i thought your family was poor growing up.
Boy i was wrong

[reddynaidu]

I can see that the road you did not take proved to be a good decision for you. Hence you are completely in agreement with the so called Indian hierarchy.
My family back ground is similar to yours and Even i was told to study and get a JOB. None of our parent told us to do what we really like, innovate or be an enterprnuer.
Since you are comparing US and India, did you overlook the fact that most of the Tech giants in the world are started by a group of dropout students with literally no money? That my friend is called American Dream. Here anything is possible provided you work hard to achieve your goals

[reddynaidu]

You think Bill gates father told him to invent MSFT or Zuckerberg for facebook.. It was their personal choice..

My personal passion is beer/car/bikes and I am pretty good at it.. I make my own beer, fix my own car and drive the bike to the extreme limit.

 

I am able to do all this based on my foundation which happens to be decent job and a monthly wage to put the bacon on the table.

I am doing this satisfying my parents and my own self.. If luck permits,maybe I can start an industry some day.

 

America was just and example and my dear friend - The American Dream is really a dream, thats what I came here searching for and found that this country is more or less similar to India minus the corruption.