ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 SLAM BOOK filled by Santa. Strength: My wife, Jeeto. Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto. Opportunity: When Banta is on tour. Threat: When I am on tour!!!
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; "Get lost, you won't bring it back."
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 [size=5][b][color=DarkOliveGreen]100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive. The correspondent rushes to him and asks the sardar ji. Correspondent: How did it happen? Sardar: Oh ji pucho mat.. Sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement Hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhii gaddi patri par aa gayi. Correspondent : Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode. Sardar: o nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya .[/color][/b][/size]
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 [size=5][color="#556B2F"][b]A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?" The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters... First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... Totally exhausted and panting. Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place" "That should have worked," said the friend. The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left..."[/b][/color][/size]
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people. Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate." Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !" "Correct. Thank you and good-" says Kalam. He hangs up and says," Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!" > Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put Condoleezza Rice to the test. Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleezza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me." "Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves. Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem. "Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course." Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Manmohan Singh!"
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor He is designed to remain Silent indoor...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 "Husband is one who is the head of the family, but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime! Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot For Ever
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills. Wife: When must I give them to him? Doctor: They are for you
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.. Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: For you and your parents
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest? Husband: A lovely Push...!!!
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday? A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Posted July 21, 2012 An Excellent RoAd sentence Written on National Highway : Go Slow, Unless U Have An Urgent Appointment With God!
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