ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman. 2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock. 2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English. 1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college. 2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed. 1957 - Ants die. 2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 [color="DarkRed"][size="4"]Natural Born Citizen[/size][/color] The following is a funny and true story shared by KC Williams who teaches AP Government at Santa Fe High School. In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States . It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by c-section?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 [color="DarkRed"][size="4"]$20 goes a long way...Just keep your mouth shut[/size][/color] On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly$1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million. She explained that she had 'charged' him for ***, and these were the results of her savings and investments. The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had *** only with you.' That's when she shot him. You know, that's what happens when you don't know when to keep your mouth shut...!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 May be a repost but, for those who missed out earlier [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img] The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm to hear about the attack.It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 **Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept: Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that.. Bush: What buildings? What people?? Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now? Bush: It's eight in the morning. Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 **Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the bar man, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" The bar man says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" Bush says, "We're planning world war 3" The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman." And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!! !" Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 **Pakistani on the moon: Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon? A: Problem... Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon? A: Problem... Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon? A: Problem... Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon? A: ....... Problem Solved!!!** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 **A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl". The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!" Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: "Brave American saves life of little girl" the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what are you then?" The man says: "I am a Pakistani!" The next day the newspapers say: "Extremist kills innocent American dog" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted July 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 2. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-1.thumb.png.613bdd33b4e8b5f69ac815bf90e62a8b.png)
Recommended Posts