Jokes

[ManOnFire]

If a Boy meets with same accident -----------?- --?------ "Don't you know how to Drive"

[ManOnFire]

1. What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
" Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,

but I never told them anything !! "

[ManOnFire]

2. What's the difference between people

who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?

The ones in the casinos are serious.

[ManOnFire]

3. When I was young I used to pray for a bike,

then I realized that God doesn't work that way,

so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

[ManOnFire]

4. A little boy went up to his father and asked :

" Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? "

His father replied :

" Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother,

because I still have mine. "

[ManOnFire]

5. John's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :

"John seems to be a very bright boy,

but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. "

The mother wrote back the next day :

" If you find a solution, please advise.

I have the same problem with his father ! "

[ManOnFire]

Possible abbreviations for “S.A.P.”
Possible abbreviations for “S.A.P.” (with some reality):

1. (S)tart (A)dding (P)atches

2. Salary Appreciation Program

3. Spend A Pound, Safe A Penny

4. (SAP)Scripts Are Painful

5. See After Playing

6. See Administrators Panic

7. Send another payment

8. Shoot Again, Players !

9. Simple Application Program

10. Simply A Program

11. Sit And Play

12. Sit And Pray

13. Smile And Pay

14. Sodding Awful Program

15. Solves All Problems

16. Structural Adjustment Programme

17. Send Another Payment

18. Shrink Approved Profitbase

19. Security Administrators’ Profit

20. ABAP: (a)lways (b)etter (a)lternatives (p)ossible

[ManOnFire]

[size="4"][color="SeaGreen"]oka school loki donga vastadu ayithe..

telugu teacher donga donga ani arustadi

hindi teacher chor chor ani arustadi

mari Maths teacher emani arustadi

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maths teacher 420 420 ani arustadi[/color][/size]

[ManOnFire]

A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

"What denomination?" asks the clerk.

"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist."

[ManOnFire]

Definitions of Designations: IT Companies.......

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.

Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

HR Manager is a person who thinks that...

a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!!

[ManOnFire]

[size="3"][b]Professor at IIMs explaining marketing concepts to Students: [/b][/size]

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. "Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets".

[ManOnFire]

Funny long lined ........
SOME ROMANTIC COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD

[ManOnFire]

[color="DarkOliveGreen"]H.O.L.L.A.N.D.[/color] - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.

[ManOnFire]

[color="DarkGreen"]I.T.A.L.Y.[/color] - I Trust And Love You.

[ManOnFire]

[color="Olive"]L.I.B.Y.A.[/color] - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.