Jokes

[pavan_613]

Not a good post uncle

[ManOnFire]

a man walks up to a woman,in a bar,trying to hit on her

woman says "you are wasting your time i'm a lesbian"

man says "hey! me too...."

[ManOnFire]

In Lok Sabha, a Congress MP during his speech told a story.....

"There was a father who gave 100 rupees to each of his 3 sons and asked
them to buy things and fill up a room completely.

First son bought hay for Rs. 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely.

Second son bought cotton for Rs. 100 but couldn't fill the room entirely.

Third son bought a candle for Rs. 1 and lit it up and the room was filled
with light completely."

The MP added "Our Prime Minister is like the third son. From the day he has
taken charge of his office, our country is filled with the bright light of
prosperity"

A voice from the backbench asked "Where are the remaining Rs. 99??"

[ManOnFire]

AwesOme Story Must Read ♥

Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery, vomits and falls down on the
floor...♥

Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.Next day wen he gets up he expects her to be really angry wid him....He prays that they shud not have a fight...♥

He finds a note near the table...♥
"Honey..your favourite breakfast is ready on the table,i had to leave early to buy
grocery"... ♥

i'll cum running back to you,my love...
I love you....♥

He gets surprised and asks his son..wat happend last nyt..?♥
Son told..."when mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt..you were dead drunk and you said: " Hey Lady ! Leave Me Alone...I M Married!!!"

[b]ThatsTrue Love...[/b]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/smile11.gif[/img] [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/ok.gif[/img] one...

[ManOnFire]

A man's wife died. Her burial was due after few hours. Uskaa friend usskaay aansoo poonchnay aur use chupp karane ke baad bola, " Tujhay kuch chahiye?"

Man " Mujhay laptop la do."
Friend," Khair to hai."
Man: "Facebook per status single karna hai."

[ManOnFire]

Sonia Gandhi in Kaun Banega Karodpati

Amitabh: Soniaji, ab aakhri saval, 5 Crore ke liye.

Who is the chief minister of Gujarat?
Your options are...
A) LALOO PRASAD.
VILASRAO DESHMUKH.
C) ARJUN SINGH.
D) NARENDRA MODI..

Soniaji : It's Narendra Modi.

Amitabh : Are you sure ? Lock kar doon?

Sonia : If you really lock him up, I will give you 100 Crores!

[ManOnFire]

nagnam gaa unna oka ammayi oka studio lonchi parigetthukuntoo vatchchi agi unna taxi ekki "poneeyi" andi..

driver ponivakunda ammayine soothunnadu..

ammayi : "nagnam gaa unna ammayini epppudooo soodaleda" [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/mad3642.gif[/img]:

driver : "soosanadi.. kaani naa doubt meeru naa taxi fare ivvadaaniki dabbulu ekkada pettara ani alochistunna " [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[ManOnFire]

[b]LAWS WHICH NEWTON FORGOT TO STATE:[/b]

[b]LAW OF QUEUE[/b]:If you change ur queue, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE:When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OFWORKSHOP:Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:The probability of meeting someone u know increases when u r with sum1 u don't want to b seen with. [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[ManOnFire]

[img]http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/401420_10150571146083532_75172638531_8736286_395362946_n.jpg[/img]

[ManOnFire]

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good
trip.
The wife answers : 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for
you?'

The husband laughs and says: 'An Italian girl !!!'
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: 'So, honey, how
was the trip?'
'Very good, thank you.' 'And, what happened to my present?'

'Which present?' She asked.
'The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!'
'Oh, that' she said
'Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it
is a girl !!!'


Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously
intelligent!

[ManOnFire]

Wife by text to husband at work ............

"Windows at home frozen - what should I do?"

Husband - "spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them"

Wife a few minutes later - "Done that - now computer won't work at
all"!

[ManOnFire]

The Secret for a
Successful Marriage Is:

"The Work-Shop...!!"

The Husband Works
&

The Wife Shops.

[ManOnFire]

God -bete, mannat maang.Man -plz mujhe phir se unmarried kar do.
God - beta 'mannat' maangne ko kaha hai, "Jannat" nahi

[ManOnFire]

Once Teacher asked Santa-"Tell me the past tense of 'I made a mistake'."
Santa replied-"I was made by a mistake!"

[ManOnFire]

Husband : Today is a fine day.
Annoyed wife : Wh do you keep saying 'Today is a fine day' every day?
Husband : You had said it once, "One fine day, I'll leave this house