Jokes

[ManOnFire]

**A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled: "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn't believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn't see her......
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....
On Thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

[ManOnFire]

You know why women starts with 'W'...
because all questions start with "W".. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!! [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/laugh.gif[/img] [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/bigrin.gif[/img]

[ManOnFire]

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to
sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

[ManOnFire]

Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"
But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"

[ManOnFire]

Naughty Boy Class Mein Hans Raha Tha,
.
Ek Ladki: Boli STAND UP.! Kon Ho Tum ..??
.
.
Naughty Boy : Tum Kon Ho?
.
.
Ladki: Mein MONITOR Hoon.
.
.
Naughty Boy : Hahahaha … Tera Zamana
Gaya
Aab L.C.D Chalti Hai

[ManOnFire]

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bea n: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bea n: Are you trying to fool me,
you've just twisted the figure,
the answer is 6!!

[ManOnFire]

BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that
you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bea n: Yesss!!!
(jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what
I just told you?
Mr. Bea n: Yes of course, do you
think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you
so happy?
Mr. Bea n: Because that proves
that I have a brain!

[ManOnFire]

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: I'm late.
I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs
because of a power failure.
Mr. Bea n: That's alright, me too..
I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

[ManOnFire]

AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bea n: I know your PIN no.,
hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no.
if you saw it?
Mr. Bea n: four asterisks ***)!

[ManOnFire]

Marriage:
Friend: How many women do you
believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bea n: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bea n: Because the priest says 4 richer,
4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.

[ManOnFire]

Producer : movie ka naam sunte hi bache dar jae aisa kuch title bataao......
Director : "morning exam evening result".

[ManOnFire]

Agar
"Laughing Buddha"
Serious ho jaye to uska naam kya hoga?

'Gautam Gambhir”

[ManOnFire]

Jack and Max are walking to religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral: The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

So the next time do ask for a leave saying

Can I work on this project while I'm on leave?

[ManOnFire]

A teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him,

Little boy : "teacher are you sleeping in class?"

Teacher : "No I am not sleeping in class."

Little boy : "What were you doing sir ?"
Teacher : " I was talking to God."

The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher
walksup to him.

Teacher : "young man, you are sleeping in my class."

Little boy : "No not me sir, I am not sleeping."

Angry teacher: "What were you doing."

Little boy : "I was talking to God."

Angry teacher: "What did he say."

Little boy : "God said he never spoke to you yesterday."

[ManOnFire]

Height of Social Networking -

Teacher: Where is ur homework?
Boy: Madam, please check in FACEBOOK. I have uploaded a copy of it &
tagged you......