ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 [color="Red"]Here is a letter written by a HR executive to his love:[/color] Dearest Ms Juliet, I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer. Thanking you in anticipation, Yours sincerely, Romeo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Boy:-I Love u Girl:-I dont Love u Boy:- Think again? Girl:-I told u. No no & no Boy :- Waiter,bring seperate bills. Girl:- ok ok....... I Love u too....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 our punjabi woman to an english doctor in LONDON telling him about her ill child...lol My baby is ill ik week da na eat da,na sleep da, bass weepda te cheekhda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Telangana style wedding card 'Laggam Pilupu' Maa pedda poradu Chi:Ellaiah Chi:Ellamma(sattenna sinna bidda)ane porini laggam chaeskuntundu meerandaru yaad marvakunda raavalae,yaad maristae manchigundadi mee pellam poragalni kuda tolka ranri Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to your destination." Joe sitting in the 8th row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right - is the captain a woman? I think I better have scotch and soda." When the attendants came by with drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?" "Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female." "My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit." "That's another thing," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her Shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas ,driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Future Movies: Chiranjeevi Son-Chirutha, BalaKrishna Son-Budatha, Venkatesh Son-Vudata,PawanKalyan son-Pidata,MaheshBabu son-Midata Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past. Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history. Teacher: Why? Student: There is no future in it. .................................................. ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted: $10. Teacher: You don't know maths. Ted: You don't know my father! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test? Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8 Father: So? Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father. Daughter: It's mummy! Father: How do you know? Daughter: She didn't say anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Mother: David, come here. David: Yes, mum? Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow. Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManOnFire Posted September 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2012 Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes Dear Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No, mine is undying love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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