Jokes

[ManOnFire]

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student
led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one
of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's
it work?"

"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound
with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall,
"Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

[ManOnFire]

[color="Red"]Here is a letter written by a HR executive to his love:[/color]

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since
the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between
us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a
prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon
completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training
and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to
spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be
shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might
take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough
to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter,
failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and
I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could
forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this
offer.

Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romeo

[ManOnFire]

Boy:-I Love u
Girl:-I dont Love u
Boy:- Think again?
Girl:-I told u. No no & no
Boy :- Waiter,bring seperate bills.
Girl:- ok ok....... I Love u too.......

[ManOnFire]

our punjabi woman to an english doctor in LONDON
telling him about her ill child...lol

My baby is ill ik week da
na eat da,na sleep da,
bass weepda te cheekhda

[ManOnFire]

Telangana style wedding card
'Laggam Pilupu' Maa pedda poradu
Chi:Ellaiah
Chi:Ellamma(sattenna sinna bidda)ane porini laggam chaeskuntundu
meerandaru yaad marvakunda raavalae,yaad maristae manchigundadi
mee pellam poragalni kuda tolka ranri

[ManOnFire]

As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to your destination."

Joe sitting in the 8th row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right - is the captain a woman? I think I better have scotch and soda."

When the attendants came by with drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit."

[ManOnFire]

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
Shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
$800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800
and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob
the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he
say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure

[ManOnFire]

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The
Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas ,driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say

[ManOnFire]

Future Movies: Chiranjeevi Son-Chirutha, BalaKrishna Son-Budatha, Venkatesh Son-Vudata,PawanKalyan son-Pidata,MaheshBabu son-Midata

[ManOnFire]

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what
had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
.................................................. .................

[ManOnFire]

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!

[ManOnFire]

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

[ManOnFire]

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
breaking plates,
then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.

[ManOnFire]

Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
scolding you now.

[ManOnFire]

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love